You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
