I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
