I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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