I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It's never too late to be topless.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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