I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
