Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
