Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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