you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
