I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm going to jail i love you
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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