those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
