Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Bring me that man meat
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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