Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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