Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
