She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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