Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
