She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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