her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
