i think my mom watched the whole time
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
