Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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