Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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