Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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