no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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