Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
