By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
