Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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