just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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