Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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