So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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