thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Say something about gay babies.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
