Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
