Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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