The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
