I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
40s are totally the cure
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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