Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
