He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
