she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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