Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
