I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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