Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
