it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
