Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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