Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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