Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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