I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
