If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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