so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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