Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
