At least make sure they are 18
Why
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
