If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
