you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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