i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
